Posted by abyuser on June 13, 2009 at 07:09 [66.91.110.106]
In Reply to: Secret out posted by Nathalie on June 13, 2009 at 04:49
Nathalie,
I was in your husbands position for 19 years of our marriage. I know the biggest thought you have is why did he hide this from me and why did he lie. The simple answer is fear. Having these desires and feelings carries such a huge load of guilt for us that it can almost be paralyzing at times. Add to that the perception that if you want babyish things especialy diapers you must be a pedophile. The term for our fetish is infantalism ( a term that on it's face makes everyone immediatly think pedophile.)
In the case of myself and my wife it took a huge amount courage on my part and the near loss of our marriage before I could "come clean". The result is a much better relationship. are life is balanced. I have the ability to explore my feelings and desires with her being loving and supporting. This lowering of stress has the effect that I have become more cognizant of her needs and feelings as well. To say we are now in the "perfect " relationship would be an exageration. Just llike everyone we have good days and bad days.
The best advise I can offer is be patient. He has bared his heart and soul to you. For a man that is simply the hardest thing to do. He has placed his entire life in your hands from his point of view. Talk with him. Don't judge him. If your still in the same house it is obvious he loves you. You may find that you two will forge a new much better balance in your lives. I wish you both the very best.
Email: