Posted by Dill Pickle on September 12, 2004 at 20:25 [22.214.171.124]
In Reply to: Re: Relationships and diapers posted by Ashley on September 12, 2004 at 16:17
With my first GF, I WAS blackmailed -- but that relationship went the wrong way in the beginning.
My current relationship, my trust has not been violated. I just don't see it happening, either.
The difference? It's all in how boundaries are handled. The first one had no respect for my boundaries or needs, the current one perhaps has too much respect for them.
I have a very portable profession (electrical engineering combined with computer programming), so I got a chance to start over when I left my bad GF. (I needed it; recovering has taken me more than 8 years and I'm still not quite finished). The bad GF is still on some kind of medical leave -- remember that if she breaks a trust like that, who will trust her in the future?
The crux of the problem is whether, when you express a need, your ability to fill it automatically becomes important to your partner, too. How does space alone work out? Are you honest with each other? Getting into my current relationship, I warned my then new GF that I was coping with certain problems and that it was quite possible to make me very upset accidentally, and it would not be her fault. When things go against you and your partner or your partner alone, what happens? Are you punished for things? That is normally a sign of disrespect, which means you should *not* share the fetish aspect of you.
I'd also wait a while before sharing my fetish desires -- giving you enough time to learn how you think your partner will react. When I told my current GF, after quite a while, the other point I emphasized was that I had not suddenly changed -- I was the same person I always was, just a little more honest.
Oops! Pumpkin time in my neck of the woods! Are those two rats pulling my pumpkin?