Posted by BabyChris on September 20, 2004 at 18:39 [4.229.250.96]
I have to share this;
This whole damn month has been one damn disaster after another. I've done stupid things, hurt people and I screwed up.
Seems like no matter what I do, things go wrong. I'm frustrated, angry, and not sure what to do. There are days where I want to loosen up, but due to the way I was raised, ie a strict Christian household, it's hard to loosen up.
From the time I was young, I've had problems with my emotions, my behaviors, and thoughts due to ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, the latter, just being diagnosed last month; I also have had to bottle myself up so I don't let loose, because I'm afraid to let loose
So, I'm baiscally a screw up, looking for a way to loosen up without drugs, beer, or any mind altering substance, and I just fucking can't do it.
I don't mean to unload here, but I've lately felt lost, angry, frustrated and not sure what the fuck to do. Seems like no matter what I do, it blows up right in my fucking face. I hate that, I really do.
Sometimes, I feel alone, isolated, and frustrated... because it's always hard for me socially. I have a hard time being around people, dealing with people, trusting people.
I'm sorry to be a Captain Bringdown, but I needed to let some steam off. It's been one HELLACIOUS month. God, October will probably be worse, unless I get lucky or something. Not bloody likely
BabyChris
Email: cjs1216@netzero.net