Posted by anon on August 18, 2009 at 19:00 [76.107.231.34]
The True Life of an AB girl
by anonymous
This is my true life story as an AB girl. It's not really cute or sexually explicit, but its true
I can't really break down where it went all wrong. I came from a large family so I assume maybe a wanted attention. Though I can always remember the idea of being regressed as an intriguing thought even before I knew the proper name for it. I remember how I stumbled across that word “regress”.
It was a CD being sold by SOCALAB on ebay, I was intrigued after seeing a picture of a CD with a diaper on. I sat there and read it with a hint of disbelief really this is what people do. I knew it was wrong and not discussed in public, but I enjoyed the stories. I could sit there for hours reading, what I thought at the time was the greatest literature ever. Though I just sat there thinking it was all in good fun and I would never act on it.
A couple of years past, I came across a site where I could meet and talk to actual people who did this.
I made friends lots of friends I dare say I was popular in the community. I felt like I could divulge my most intimate secret in the world and enjoy it. When I finally turned 18 the magical number, when I considered finding a daddy all my own. I started making post trying to find anyone near me. It never happened, I found my fair share of deceitful men. Men who would only want me for sexually explicit materials, pics of me in diapers, naked, pacifier, you name there fantasy and I would deliver. I must have been naive to think that they liked me or even cared. It would only serve me right to find my pictures posted on other sites. It broke my heart, to know that nobody cared, it was there I felt the biggest betrayal of my life and knew I would never be the same. I gave up on finding a online daddy, I became a little girl who only liked a daddy for what he would give her. I wanted to hurt somebody as bad as I been hurt. So what if I was the 1 in 1000 genuine Little girl when a decent daddy
is 1-1,000,000. I gave up on ever finding anyone, who would associate themselves with the lying, deceitful, men that pray on young girls, who don't know any better.
I decided to find a real man and make him my daddy. I met him in college and I was very upfront about
my private lifestyle. At the time he really didn't have much problem with it either, I thought to myself finally in time he will come around and life it to. At the time neither of us had a place so we really couldn't do it. I would baby talk and goof around, but no more than your average 20 year old girl. So I made a commitment and we got an apartment together. I assuming once everything got settle we would eventually find time for my hobby. Though guess what after all was said and done he made me feel like the biggest loser for ever indulging in something so childish. So I changed I had always been a genuinely happy person and it was like getting the life sucked out of me, but I changed. I threw everything away, denied I ever had anything to do with it. He was happy and I was full of discontent, there I was living with somebody who didn't understand me. Eventually, I came to my sense and for reasons unrelated to ABDL we were over.
It all seems like some crazy blur a passing of time if you will. I'm upset, frustrated, confused. I had molded myself into this perfect girl for everybody to admire and adore. I had the petite frame, blonde hair, and blue eyes. I have now lost so much of my identity with the loss of being ABDL. That I feel as though I will never recover. Though I won't go back I refuse, There I have found nothing but hurt. Though now I give up on the only small fantasy I had in the entire world. I read all those stories and no one ever told me this. So I will its a Fantasy and will never happen and to leave your heart open to a bunch of online perverts in some desperate attempt of this someday my prince will come fairy tale will only drive you to the brink of insanity.
So here I am a intelligent, smart, sophisticated young lady, who at such a young age has seen so much hate in the world in something that seemed so sweet and innocent. So for all of you people out there who sit and wonder why know sane girl would be on this site is cause no woman would put up with that kind of treatment. I'm now going through what could be called the worse identity crisis ever. While I'm very level headed, I have a job, go to school , and have my own apartment. I have lost so much and I have a feeling I will never find it.
So that's my story does anyone know how I can move on?
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