Posted by Glad to help on December 31, 2009 at 10:57 [69.115.231.187]
In Reply to: Has anyone else noticed? posted by bunnyBottoms on December 29, 2009 at 17:06
I strongly disagree with the thrust of your post bunnyBottoms. Frankly, personals ads here on this forum are no different from the way people recruit for anything else in life.
For example, job recruiters almost universally post job ads with very specific job and experience requirements. Every college and university I know vigorously pre-screens applicants, while only a small fraction are admitted. And when you're looking to buy a new car, you investigate each car scrupulously before buying -- don't you? Rhetorical question -- 'tis the way of the world.
And frankly, I think the AB and diaper girls who post personals here are *FAR* more specific and demanding about *THEIR NEEDS* than are the Daddies here who post in like kind. Women in this subculture receive a far greater number of replies to their personals ads than do men who also post ads. The result is that ABDL women (diaper girls, AB girls, Mommies, Mistresses, etc.) tend to update their subsequent ads with much more selective language.
However... to your point -- I've long said that posting a laundry list of wants isn't putting your best foot forward. One should never start a conversation with, "I want." Putting one's best foot forward means first discussing who you are and what you offer a prospective partner / mate.
And something else *VERY* important, very underestimated among ABDL's: describing your uniqueness.
You're one of thousands of AB / diaper girls out there. Just as there are thousands of Daddies, etc. What about you is special? *ALL* diaperists looking for a partner(s), should evaluate their uniqueness and their *UNIQUE CONTRIBUTIONS TO OUR SUBCULTURE* as a factor in their attractiveness.
What do I mean? Take Zorro Daddy, for example. He has his own website and he posts here often to discuss his unique point of view. Unlike most other Daddies, Zorro Daddy took the initiative -- which is not only memorable, but also shows leadership: a good trait for a Daddy. And it shows that he's eager to give something back to others here. In fact, Zorro Daddy doesn't need to advertise himself -- his actions do that for him. I guarantee that Zorro Daddy receives emails from women he never contacted -- women who took the initiative to meet him, this unique Daddy.
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Conclusion: posting personals ads on ABDL boards as one's only effort towards finding a diaper-aware partner is the path of least resistance. Like voting, its the easy road. It requires little effort, which is why it often results in little gain. And while its *EXPECTED* that people will post a laundry list of (sometimes unrealistic) wants -- as the rest of the world does when shopping for something they want -- what's expected isn't often the best course.
Alternately, the *BEST COURSE* for finding partnership, love, friendship, sex (you fill in the blank) is *THE UNIQUE COURSE YOU SET FOR YOURSELF.* Its achieved by being unique, by being yourself, be getting active, by getting noticed, and by making a difference among other ABDL's -- and among other kinky people in general. Accomplish this and you *WILL* create many, *MANY* opportunities for yourself for partnership, love, friendship, sex (you fill in the blank) with people who share your appreciation for the kinky, wonderful, creative person you are.