Posted by Darkman on July 20, 2010 at 22:11 [71.233.82.42]
In Reply to: tale of the cursed panties continued PRT3 posted by HEATHER on July 20, 2010 at 08:59
Read all three parts, and I have to say there is a lot of room for improvement. While the idea of magical, embarrassment causing panties sounds like a neat plot device, the delivery feels subdued and doesn't build to anything worthwhile. For one, you pretty have the main character get into the panties right off the bat, not allowing a little bit of developement for her, or what's in store when she dons the panties.
There's lot of potential here for a truly epic story, I think you should try and make use of it.
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