Posted by Nym on October 09, 2000 at 19:34
Looooong post coming up... Over the years following the accident I wrote about last time, I thought about the way that people react to messing their pants and to others around them doing the same (I know I was only little, but little kids can think too). I reached the conclusion that if you were absolutely desperate for a pooh, and thought you might not be able to hold it, it was always better to let it all out than try and hold some of it, and end up making a mess anyway. This was for the following reasons - 1) Adults always thought that if a kid had made a really bad mess in their underwear, they must have been in real trouble holding it - so as it wasn't seen as the kid's fault, the adult wouldn't be cross. This went with what all the friends whose experiences I found out about told me. 2) If you're going to make a mess anyway, there's no point in compounding discomfort by just trying to hold it in for ages, or holding half in after letting the rest go. 3) It seemed that most people found it quite comfortable to have poohed themselves, if the pooh wasn't too hard and after they'd got over the initial shock. The main exception to this was if you were very constipated - you'd probably be able to hold on anyway, and an accident would be very obvious and very uncomfortable (and would also get you into a lot more trouble). Around the age of 9, I also found that you can do the following if you start to need to go, to work out what to do: 1) Relax your sphincter totally, until you feel the pooh just starting to edge out. Now immediately clamp down. The idea is to see how far you can let it out and have it slide back in easily (this needs care...). The sphincter needs to be totally relaxed, or soft pooh will just end up going all over the place. 2) If the pooh felt like it was being 'pinched off' a bit, even though the sphincter was relaxed enough for it to come out easily, then it is probably a 'squishy' consistency, but not a fluid. If it can be made to go in and out easily, it could either be very hard or very soft. The way to tell is: 3) Hold the sphincter open a tiny bit and try pushing out some pooh. 4) If it just squeezes straight through the hole, you probably have mild diarrhoea (the sort I had in the last post), but if it won't go at all, it's likely to be quite hard. If the pooh is very soft, obviously it's quite likely you won't be able to hold on as long as if it's hard. I've found this a very good way of knowing *exactly* how long I can last - I never actually mess my pants doing this, unless I have diarrhoea, but the whole point is you only do this if you're not sure you're going to last long enough. (I'm a teenager). An example of this was a few years ago, when I was about 11 and I had to do an important exam at school. On the way to school I started to need the toilet through nerves, but there wasn't time to go. About 30 minutes into the exam, I realised that I'd got the timing totally wrong, as the exam was 2 hours long and not 2.5 as I thought. This made me more worried, and I was desperate to do a pooh. The urge kept getting more and more quite fast. I knew I couldn't really leave the test, because a teacher would have to go with me and it'd take ages of exam time, so I tried to concentrate on doing questions. However, I was being distracted by feeling so desperate, and I realised I probably wouldn't make it to the end of the exam. I suddenly realised that if I stopped trying to hold back and just gave in, I would'nt have to worry about needing to pooh, and I wasn't too bothered about having an accident in the exam because the rest of the day was for teacher training and I could go home and clean myself up without anyone really knowing. First, I absent-mindedly ran through the above sequence - The first time I tried to let go, a little nugget broke off and stayed in my pants, so I thought it might actually be quite hard. I let it come out further and further each time, and each time it seemed to slide back in easily, even though my sphincter felt like it was being dilated to about 2" diameter. I stopped to think about this, and decided to try the second method, and a squirt of semi-fluid pooh came out. At the same time, I got a cramp, and I just pushed my bottom of the seat and let everything go - it poured out, and was held in my pants. The smell was pretty bad, but I felt *so* much more comfortable, and I got on with the exam (I got an A, so it must've worked...). What I hadn't realised at the time was that when I'd been letting it out and in again, it must've just been going into my pants without me feeling, and it was so wet it just felt like I was getting it to go back. The other thing I didn't realise was I was wrong about going straight home, as I had another test in the same subject. I went to the toilet, but I only had 5 minutes to do anything, and I didn't need to go any more, so I gave up cleaning myself and had to sit the second exam in the same, squelchy underwear. When I got home, I realised that cleaning the pants would be pretty much impossible and as I was trying to work out what to do my Dad got home and found me. I was really embarrassed, but my theory had worked, and he was OK about it. After that and a couple of close calls in previous exams, I learnt to put a few pieces of toilet paper in my pants before exams I was worried about, in case the worst came to the worse. I've had a few exam accidents since (I tend to be prone to them anyway), but when I've remembered the toilet roll it's been a lot less of a problem. I have lots more accidents I can write about if people want - I have a very good memory for what's happened to me and what people have told me. I think there should be some sort of group where kids who've had accidents can talk about it, as in primary school it seemed that anyone who this happened to felt better for talking about it and realising that they weren't the only ones - I think a lot of little kids only tease someone who's done it in their pants because they know it's happened to them, perhaps without anyone finding out. I'd appreciate feedback on the stuff above - I'll post more later, and I hope everyone who hasn't had the courage to talk about this sort of thing will do so...
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