Posted by pants on August 04, 2008 at 21:25 [58.111.19.7]
Hi all,
I know this sort of thing doesn't necessarily translate too well into interesting reading, but I just had to share: I did the biggest poo in my pants ever today. I've been eating really healthy lately, a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and veg, recommended quantities of meats and breads only.. that kind of thing. I've been trying to get really trim and ripped again after gaining a bit of excess weight last semester, and it's been working. This diet as also slowed my need to poo, so instead of pooing a decent sized dump every day, I usually just go every second day, but because of all the fiber I've been eating, those poops have been huge! Anyway, yesterday I needed to go quite badly, I knew it was going to be big, but I also knew I had most of today to myself and that it'd be a great opportunity to get up to some real mischief. So late yesterday afternoon I actually took a big dose of metamucil, and then had a big salad for dinner. It was hard not pooping before bed last night, but I managed to fall asleep. I woke up this morning uncomfortable, I clearly needed to shit pretty bad. But I wanted to wait until midday when I'd have an opportunity to go to a local peep show and load up my skinny jeans in a private showing booth in front of some unsuspecting porn striper! I've thought about doing that before, but never actually done it. It would work well because the show is short (only 6mins) and there is glass between u and the girl so she won't smell anything, but the problem Ive always worried about is walking out of the place and leaving a massive stink trail behind you. Anyway, circumstances conspired to prevent that plan from eventuating, and thank god for that. My landlord came over to repair something (I didn't know he was coming) and so I immediately went to the kitchen to do some washing up (I was embarrassed about the mess). After I stood up and started washing, the cramps were quite servere, I wasn't sure if I'd actually be able to make it. The land lord told me he had to go to the hardware store to buy something and that he'd be back within an hour, I said ok. I didn't know how long the work would take him, and my ability to plan everything around him was shot to pieces by this terrible need to relieve myself. As soon as he left I thought 'fuck it, I simply can't wait til the strip club opens, I need to go way to bad'. So I widened my stance a little, bent over a little, steadied myself against the counter and grunted as I pushed. I consider myself very very lucky I didn't follow through with the daring strip club plan. This poo, this poo.. this was possibly the biggest shit Ive ever done. IT was was way too big for my undies, and the leg bands were both stretched a long way from my arse. I wadled to the bathroom and locked the door. I lowered my pants and my breath was stolen away. It was simply an enormous pile of shit. It would have weighed over half a kilo. If I had of done that in public (in my skinny jeans!) well, it might have been great, or it might have been my undoing! Because the land lord was coming back, I couldn't really do anything messy, so I just quickly jacked off while staring at this mamoth load. I got cleaned up, and all was well before he returned, and now he's finished and gone. I'm feeling a little bloody super human after that shit thismorning. I'm going to masturbate again now before I have to leave for the afternoon... wow, what a day,