Posted by I08MHz on January 07, 1999 at 00:49
"Margo!" an extremely southern Louisiana accented voice called from inside the building, "get'ch yer butt-in here an do yer chores!"
"OK!" answered a sweet feminine voice, "but for the last time, my name's not Margo."
"Whatever, get'ch yer butt-in here an do yer chores!"
Margaret P. Warble (Marge for short) was born in southern Louisiana, but had somehow managed to pick up a northern Alaskan accent (you'd have to go to northern Alaska to find out what that sounds like). Nobody knows how this happened, but most of the locals considered it some kind of birth defect caused by Marge's mother's incestuous relationship with her cousin (actually, nobody knows whether it was the incestuous relationship with her cousin, her dad, her brother, or her eldest son, Jimbo Bob Jr.; but that does not matter). This "birth defect" has caused her much grief, because people in those parts look down on non-conformist birth defects.
"Why haven't you done the laundry?"
"I have done the laundry, Jimbo Bob Jr. Didn't you see it neatly folded and sorted on your bed."
"O' cou'se I did. What, you t'ink I was b'rn wit' no eye sockets an' a missin' ear like Daddy?
"No, I just…"
"Shut da ritt titt tat tuttles up, wom'n! ha'nt ya looked at da pants I'm wearing now."
Marge looked at her brother's pants and found to her surprise… that they were absolutely clean. "How unusual," she thought to herself.
"They need washin'," said Jimbo with a deep grin.
"They look OK to me" replied Marge, who was trying hard not to express the anger she felt.
With that, Jimbo just laughed… and laughed… and laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Marge found this hysterical laughter out of the ordinary, because Jimbo had never laughed before in his life. She wondered how his sadly deformed body would react to such stress; she soon found out.
The front of Jim's pants began to darken. The dark patch then began to grow… and grow… and grow, and grow, and grow until it had reached the end of the pant-legs. It then proceeded to fill Jimbo's rattlesnake boots (That were specially made for him and his three extra toes) and make a puddle on the floor.
Amazingly, Jimbo still had a smile on his face, and he said, "Now dey aren’t so clean, now ar' dey! Clean dim up!"
Margo was furious; so furious was she in fact, that she started to wet her own tight, blue jeans. After wetting them, she was still furious, so she striped them off, threw them in her brother's face, and ran out of the house in her panties. No sooner had she exited the shelter, did a 1998 Yukon come burning around the corner of the dirt road.
It was Marge's Jamaican pen pal from Northern Alaska, here to rescue his true love. He beckoned her to jump in the car, but she refused.
"First, I must get some clothes!"
No sooner had she said this, did her fairy god mother/aunt come down from the sky. "Oh dearest, I will give clothes, but you and your hubby must remember to wet in them every night before midnight."
"Why?" asked Marge's Jamaican pen pal from Northern Alaska.
"Why do you think? I have a watersports fetish. Go to wetset.net if you want more information! What do I look like, an encyclopedia?"
"No, you look like a fairy god mother/aunt with seven fingers on each hand," chimed in Marge's Jamaican pen pal from Northern Alaska just before he turned into a frog.
Marge was horrified, but a large crash distracted her. She looked back at the man that was getting out of the 1999 Dodge Viper that had just rear ended the Yukon. He was hot!
"Hi, I'm from Sothern Alaska. It's not Northern Alaska, but it's the next best thing!" he said while wetting his pants.
"I like that guy better!" said the fairy god mother/aunt to Marge.
"So do I" said Marge.
She went with the man to Southern Alaska and they lived happily ever after wetting themselves in Sicily as extras on "Northern Exposure"
A Louisiana Newspaper headline soon after: "Man Suffocates on Pee-Stained Jeans While New Bread of Frog with Dreadlocks Terrorizes Local Bobsledding Company."
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