Posted by Dump Buddy on January 18, 2000 at 20:00
In Reply to: Unspoken Hold-It Contest posted by Frodo on January 18, 2000 at 12:24
Listen up, guys !
Let's just get the record straight. This desperation shit is for wimps. REAL MEN don't get desperate. REAL MEN have Balls of Brass, Cocks of Stallions, and Bladders of Steel. REAL MEN are at all times in total control of their bladders and bowels. REAL MEN can get through four years of high school and venture into The Boys Room only four and a half times, if that's what they want. REAL MEN can blast a ten-foot arc for three minutes nonstop - no hands - straddling the forty-yard-line during Half Time at the Super Bowl (no pun intended), if that's what they want. REAL MEN can strut into a Martha Stewart bathroom and in under three minutes duplicate the aroma of a barracks latrine at reveille in July. REAL MEN can run up a thirty-dollar tab at Starbucks, finish off a six-pact, demolish half a quart of Jack Daniels, and wash down three black bean burritos with a liter of Thunderbird wine, and, if they want, hold it all in until Last Call and be the last of his mates to lunge behind the dumpster back in the alley - and take care of all his business in one trip, too.
Got that ? Its about Being A Man !
OK, yeah. I know, there was that time when I was sixteen. Well, I musta had some virus or something. So I passed out on my classmate's bed that night. So what. Not my fault he couldn't wash the stain off the mattress before his dad said he wanted to have a man-to-man talk with him....
Later, guys. I gotta go take a dump.
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