Posted by Karl Lodersturm on September 22, 2000 at 17:13
Hi, my name is Tom and I'm about to disclose to you a very
messy matter between my girlfriend and I, which I would readily like to share with you. Her name is Kristine Olsen, originally from Mesa, AZ. As chief chef at Delmonico in NYC she's directly subordinated to me. Well, for couple of years she's been having a bizarre habit/hobby, - farting on cream cakes... That's her prank-like way to treat rude uncilvilized customers. She carries it out behind the stoves at my presence. Now, we're talking about a famous restaurant in the city, where many celebs, including mayor Giuliani pay a visit.
It's amazing to see her taking off her pants, exposing her bare butt before me, then bending over, squating with it to the cake, and vigorously breaking winds all over it. It's so sexy!
Once I decided to get down to it and asked her as to the meaning of this bizarre fetish, so she told me that it has turned her on since she was little girl. So one day while I was visiting her at the restaurant, she approached me, took a cake out of the fridge, got undressed and carried out her constant ritual. I got suddenly so turned on, that my prick thought of punching my stretched pants, so I took 'em off. Astonished and grateful, I stared at my lover performing the ceremony easily and slowly, thanking Jesus Lord for her beauty.
She bent down to place her ass in front of the cake, while I'm standing in the corner watching her drawing near her slit and shithole to approximately 2-3 inches from the cake, waiting patiently for the digestion gases to accumulate, then be thrust out of her body to meet the beneign cake. She told me she'd had the beans, so she was equiped with a lot of farts just to be proud of. After she let out a silent one, felt only due to its odor, she broke winds loudly, about 5 or 6 in a row, every one of them sounded like a canon bombardment, or at least - a starting motorcycle. The last one lasted 7 whole seconds. I think she passed gas at 500 ml bulk sum total.
Initially the smell was hot, strong and condensed as the molecules were too dense. It smelt like the combination of a rotten eggs, a gas station and fresh feces-turd. After a while when it began to spread, it has become sharp, diffused and less offensive. After about 20 seconds it felt all over the room, surprisingly turning me on. She raised from the bending position, getting up on her feet.
Couple of minutes later a good looking young fella entered the restaurant and asked for a cake. Kristine served him the foul smelling cake. He ate it unabruptly, unaware of the drama which had taken place just before. I was watching the scene while it was going on, I coundn't hold it in, and rushed to the staff's bathroom, bursting out laughing, lying on the floor twisting, until my belly was sore.
10 minutes later, after recovering from the wild laughter, I went out of the facility just to encounter the funny guy holding his stomach, with a tormented expression on his face, speeding all the way to get rid of the foul cake. I think he's just had at least 150 million germs...
Email: schwalb7@hotmail.com