Posted by DR on July 29, 2005 at 06:41 [67.83.76.91]
In Reply to: Marketing, Psychology and your non AB girlfriend posted by BrianInSF on July 28, 2005 at 22:09
Great post Brian.
I agree with everything you wrote. But I'll add to it by saying that you can't sell anything unless you *first believe in the product.*
The reason many diaperists hide their heads in their shirts, stutter or can't speak when they are trying to tell their significant others is because these diaperists think there is something wrong with their diaper desires. They not only disbelieve in their product, but they also loathe it. And *that* is the problem.
No girlfriend or boyfriend can make you feel good about you. No amount of another's acceptance can make you accept yourself. Acceptance and self-love *must* come first before you can sell your diaper desires to anyone else. To sell anything, you have to be your *first* and *best* customer.
My Ten Steps to Diapered Self-Love (c) DR - 7/29/05
1. Honestly appraise how you feel about yourself and your diaper desires. Give yourself a report card about your confidence in these areas.
2. Take responsibility for your feelings. Remember, some see the glass as half empty... some as half full. Some say, "my girlfriend dumped me" (weep), while some say "MY GIRLFRIEND AND I BROKE UP!" (yeah, new opportunity!) Some think, "my diaper desires" (yuck!), while some think "MY DIAPER DESIRES!!!" (YEAH!) You're responsible for the way you feel about that -- the world/society isn't. Which means, you're responsible for changing the way you feel too.
3. Don't ask "Why?" Unless you ask yourself why you prefer chocolate over vanilla, or why you like SpongeBob more than Rugrats. "Why" implies a necessary justification, where none is needed about your diapers. And for that matter, never explain "Why" to anyone else either.
4. Don't ask "Why me?" You weren't cursed. Love your differences. How boring would life be if everyone was the same? You're different -- that makes you *interesting* and *new* and *unique.* Your diaper desires are interesting, new and unique. Embrace that aspect of you.
5. Put it all in perspective. So you're passionate about a specific item of clothing. Big deal! Doesn't make you a murderer or a violent criminal. You're not hurting others. Frankly, half of all people worldwide are passionate about specific items of clothing -- they are called "women." 3 billion can't be wrong, and neither are you.
6. Be kind to yourself. You're human, not superhuman. You're allowed to feel down from time to time. You're allowed to be different. *Reward* yourself for your successes, but immediately *forgive* yourself for your failures.
7. Find all of the positives about diapers. Write a list of your favorites. You'll never miss the crucial scene in a movie because your bladder is bursting. You'll never get lost in the dark because others can listen for your crinkle -- or "smell" for you. You're supporting the economy and the adult diaper industry with every purchase. And gals -- you never have to worry that your boyfriend "missed the toilet."
8. Note the above and laugh at yourself.
9. Don't internalize rejection. You're allowed to have preferences, and so are others. Remind yourself that its not personal.
10. Always keep yourself on the path of self-improvement and make it a lifelong mission. Along the way, be kind to yourself for your progress. Reward yourself for your achievements. Forgive the failures. Try to love yourself more each day. Search out new things about yourself and find the goodness and the humanity in them.
That's *my* prescription for diapered self-love, but is by no means the right formula for everyone. Find what works best for you and go with it. So long as you're improving yourself, feeling good about you, and not hurting anyone else in the process -- then you're sure to find happiness in your diapered life, and in your day-to-day life as well.
I'm sure some will tell me that I'm looking down my nose, posting from my "sermon from the mount" or that I'm talking some quasi-intellectual self-help garbage, or whatever -- but if you really think about it, there's no benefit to me to offer such lengthy thoughts here, other than I hope I can help some diapered folks find the same happiness and confidence that I've found. That has always been the motive behind my energy and my posts and always will be.