Posted by Sara on September 01, 2000 at 03:55
In Reply to: Help me understand posted by Sara on August 31, 2000 at 16:35
Thanks to all of you who have responded, and for your caring words. I am very touched by them, especially as I suppose I am a bit of an outsider here. It occurred to me that I may have been rude to turn up here asking these questions, but I am pleased that I don't seem to have offended anyone. (Of course you could call me part of the club as I have done the deed a few times, but admittedly only to please someone else).
I think you may all be right in what you have said. I know the emotional pain is still paralysing, and I suppose this quest to understand may well be some sort of delaying tactic in accepting what has happened. I know that some days I can't believe that someone so good and so young could have gone down so fast. I am also torn apart by the fact that I didn't force him to go to the doctor sooner. He was always saying he was only suffering from tiredness and stress, or that pains were only muscular. Please everyone, men especially, if you are ill, get help!
I suppose in my efforts not to feel so sorry for myself I was trying to do something, and that something was to explore this long-hidden part of my husband. I know he was always visiting this site and others partly for that reason himself, sometimes spending half the night at it. (I know he was also looking at naughty pictures and goodness knows what else, but I guess I didn't mind because it let me off the hook.)
Thanks for the offer of email correspondence Lionheart but I don't have a unique address to myself, so great embarassments may result. I would like talking to people, and I will visit this board though at least for a while.
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