Posted by oznl on March 02, 2010 at 22:17 [210.49.50.219]
During my long time on these boards, I've seen some pretty outlandish fantasies surrounding hospitalisation.
I recently had the unwelcome experience of directly experiencing an actual hospitalisation for relatively major surgery. Here is my *actual* experience. I have to warn you. It is not in any way erotic.
The surgery lasted around 4 hours. Whilst I was out, a foley catheter was installed and it remained for some days later in ICU. Nobody offered me a nappy and I was in no state to make any kind of election in any case.
I'm not sure exactly when I became aware of the catheter when I awoke in ICU but it did occur to me vaguely that something was happening in the pee department but I wasn't sure what. For the most part, I was either unaware of urinating or dimly aware that something like urination might be happening but that it was beyond my control. Of course with the amount of opiate pain killers I was taking on board, producing anything other than pee would be a distant aspiration for the future.
I didn't care.
I was tired, disorientated and nauseous from the pain medication. Pain lurked like a growling dog crouched in the corner that would attack if I moved. The only positive from the catheter was that it was one less thing to think about and one less reason to move.
I didn't notice how good the nurses looked.
There were disposable nappies and bed pads stacked up against the wall alongside the bedding and towels.
I stared blankly at them as I would wallpaper.
Periodically, the ICU nurse would take the catheter line and feed it up in the air - seemingly to move air bubbles that were in it. I don't know why. When she did this and the line was moved above my torso, urine would siphon back down from the line into my bladder which was a sensation as painful as it was curious.
A couple of days later and just before I "graduated" out of ICU back onto a normal ward, the catheter was removed. Whilst I couldn't honestly say this was painful, I can honestly say that it is a sensation that I NEVER wish to experience again.
I leaked pee afterwards. This was just a compounding misery dealt with professionally and without comment by the nurses.
There was not one single instance that I was describe as even interesting, let alone erotically charged. I felt about as sexy as a car wreck and the greatest thrill I could muster was to consume a small cup of diet jelly without gagging.
So, there you go. Not sexy but real in case anyone was wondering...