Posted by Darren on January 04, 2000 at 10:40
I started a new job just before Christmas and my office is based on the third floor of a large building but we don't have any toilets on our floor - they're on the ground floor.
However, the gents is located right opposite an office full of girls who can see every movement in and out. I've always been really shy about my toilet needs and I'm so embarrassed about using the toilet when they can see me.
I've got a bit of a weak bladder anyway and often need to pee several times during the day and this makes me even more reluctant to go when the girls see me. I hate to admit to this weakness and imagine them giggling as I go for the third time in a morning!
Pee breaks are hard enough to find anyway, especially as the new boy, and I'm usually bursting when I finally make a move. However, a few times I've got downstairs and having seen the girls watching, I've walked straight past and back upstairs. I can't then return within the next hour or so in case some of them think I've already peed before and then I'd really feel embarrassed. Once or twice I don't know how I've held on back in my office and a few days before Christmas I almost had to run downstairs in desperation.
I'm nearly at my wit's end now. On Christmas Eve I left work early and couldn't face visiting the toilet again (!) before leaving and on the hours drive home I came as close to wetting my trousers as I have done since I was sixteen (and that's another story!) - I'm now twenty-two.
But today was the worst yet - the first day back after the holiday and I went downstairs three times this morning only to find one particular girl smiling at me and saying 'hello' each time. I walked straight along the corridor each time and by the time I finally HAD to go, I was nearly walking with crossed legs.
I just know that something awful is going to happen before long and I have this terrible fear that I'm going to wet myself. I couldn't stand the humiliation if I did and I really enjoy the job and don't want to have to leave, as I surely would if I disgraced myself.
I can't find anyone to confide in - my girlfriend would go mad if I peed my pants at work and I haven't told her of my predicament. I wonder if the girls on the ground floor have latched on to my situation and if they're giggling at me whenever I appear.