Posted by BrianInSF on August 01, 2005 at 23:45 [69.110.43.95]
Be forewarned lest ye be forlorne, the following article contains an inumerable count of acronyms.
Though I'm hardly any kind of expert in the field, having spent some time reading through BDSM material on different web sites it strikes me how much of a pariah fetish diapers are in the BDSM world. I have almost never seen a positive article regarding it, though I have come across several BDSM articles on ABDL boards and IMHO I can't help but ask WTF? (I warned you) This strikes me not necesarily as odd, but at least worthy of a bit of thought and analysis. Most of the time when diapers come up they only do so under the heading "things I will NOT do", though I can certainly think of several reasons why this might be the case I'm struck by the fact that diapers and diaper/AB/DL training would otherwise seem to be a excellent component for a BDSM relationship. Has anyone else given this any thought?
I've got my own response but I'm very currious as to what other people think,
(Oh yeah, and if there are any ladies interested in producing a few case studies regarding any theories apropos to the subject, I would be happy to offer myself for any such expirements ;-) (For science and the greater good of humanity you understand.))
My response:
Working backwards, why do I think that diapers seem so perfectly suited for BDSM play? Well, from my mostly spectatorial perspective the bondage and domination world seems to operate heavily on the element of choice, or more particularly a master taking away choices from a sub(or flat out making choices for them.) Ropes and restraints eleminate the mobility of the sub, the turn on is that they loose the ability to decide to move. The master has taken the choice away from them. Helpless is often a word that I hear in conjunction with such states from subs, the situation is out of their controll. Actual restraints remove the choice of mobility, often the sub is not allowed to do anything without asking the masters permition(I saw this in a local bookstore) so her choice of decision making is eliminated, and often sadism and punishment is simply a sanction used to reinforce this dynamic of the sub being choiceless. Well what better choice to take away from sub then their choice of when and where to go to the bathroom. Diapers actively let a sub know that if they have to piss or shit, they might have to do so in their diapers and that the choice realy isn't up to them. Freedom from soiling oneself is one of the most basic rights we have as adults and the stigma of doing so is burried deep in our psyche. It's one of the first and most heavily reinforced social norms we learn, and having having the ability to not need diapers is often the benchmark we use to determine whether or not one has graduated from babyhood. We learn very quickly that diapers and self soiling are to be avoided at all cost, those that do not receive incerdible rejection and social ostricization from both parents and peer groups. Being known as the kid who needs diapers is perhaps the worst Scarlet Letter a kid can get, they become the kid that no one likes and everyone makes fun of. Group dynamics come into play as the kid learns that the absolute worst thing that can happen to him is to be that kid, therefore we develope an almost visceral gut reaction to even the though of diapers and self soiling. With the possible exception of gender identity there is almost nothing else more humiliating that can be taken away than potty training. It is in this regard that I think diapers are so very very pschologicaly powerfull for the purposeses of bondage and domination. What more could you do to a sub to demonstrate your usurping of their autnomy than to return them to diapers. You're essentialy saying that their adulthood is in your hands, demonstrated by the fact that you have just taken away it's cornerstone. The actual diapers themselves have an unmistakable feeling to them, their thick plastic rustling constantly reminds the wearer of their presence, and those tactile sensations probably recal the kneejerk negative fealing associated with diapers. The wearing of diapers implies the constant threat of self soiling, another choice taken away; and the actual act of self soiling is the final nail in the cofin of their adult pottytrained status. Wetting or especialy messing in ones diaper is the first thing society conditions us to fear and never ever do, forcing a sub to do that has incredible pschological implications.
That was all very clinical, but it realy boils down to something simple. Diapers and using diapers is the first big thing we learn not to do, making a sub wear and use diapers is essentialy making them violate the most basic social rules they know. Because of this making someone wear or use a diaper is one of the most humiliating things you can do to them, and it demonstrates that you have complete controll over them and have taken away their fundamental bathroom privelages, just as you would take away their movement with ropes, or their decision making with rules.
Since it deals with a cornerstone of human insecurity and anxiety, not only can it be a great deal of fun, it can also be very theraputic. Diapers do emobdy embarasment and humiliation, but they also emobdy security and protection. While the sub looses their anonimity, they often feel a great deal of warmness for the master who is taking care of them. Part of the dynamic of a master sub relationship is that while the master might do seemingly horrible things to them, it is an expression of affection and implies that while she looses autonomy he is taking care of her.(I'm using a him her paradigm for convenience, but you already knew that) Diapers accomplish this very well I think.
So why aren't they popular in BDSM? If they're so usefull how come so many BDSM personals include a "No adult babies" clause? I dunno. Perhaps it's because the technique works too well, it is such a deep fundamental no no that unless it's already a fetish for a person it runs up against that giant wall of social conditioning that says diapers are horrible. People don't want to wear or even make others wear diapers because that childhood conditioning causes them to shudder even at the word(espicialy when associating it with fun) Perhaps what people realy don't like is the potential soiling involved, after all it is quite gross. Avoidance of urine and feces are also just social norms, people get around them, but the taboo of them is understandable and why would someone cross that line. Technicaly (I repeat technicaly) drinking urine fresh from another person is usualy perfectly safe, but how many of us would do it? Then again, it's perfectly possible to use diapers without them actualy being used, so we run up against the same question, why are they such a pariah fetish?
I'm just curious if people think diapers are as effective in BDSM as I have suggested? And if so, why the lack of diaper usage in the kink community?
I'll make a less heavyhanded post next time I promise,
BrianInSF
Email: moboya@yahoo.com