CANDE WET DREAMS
Wet & dirty diapers - wet & dirty panties!
At the start of this video I'm laughing hysterically, but I don't even know exactly why. I'm sure though it's to do with my current confused mental state. I know what I want - to be a baby girl in diapers all the time, and to use them whenever I need to - but sometimes the guilt can be overwhelming. It distresses me that I can't tell anyone, even close friends, about my most important desires. I don't like that I have to keep it big secret. I would love it to be out in the open, but that can never be. I could probably tell them almost anything else except wanting to be diapered. I know what they'd think of me and that's scary. How can something so harmless be so taboo?
I start this video with my diaper already filled and bulging with poop. The video is not about that - it's about what happened after. I went into the bathroom to clean myself up when something came over me - a desire from the deep distant past, a very dirty desire, a desire to be the naughtiest and dirtiest little girl ever. I first admired myself in the mirror, running my hands over my breats and nipples, then stepped into the bath. I took off my dirty diaper and smeared some of the poop from my bottom over myself, but then I took the plunge - I pressed the dirty inside of the diaper against my breasts - from that moment on there was no turning back!
I'm sitting inside with nothing to do, just sitting on the floor, leaning back against the wall wearing just a black top and purple panties. I've got my legs apart, and it's not too long before I start exploring between them. I stroke the crotch of my panties, sometimes pressing on my clit and also touching the little damp patch. As I do this, I get the idea of what I could be doing, and could be doing quickly becomes WANT to be doing - and that is of course wetting and pooping myself. What better way to liven up an otherwise boring day by being a dirty girl! So I turn on my side, give my butt a quick smack, touch the damp patch with my finger and then hold it to my nose. As I breathe in the scent, the decision is made!
What do naughty, dirty little girls do when they wake up in the morning? First, whether they've wet their diaper during the night or not, they happily wet or rewet themselves. That one is to be expected, as all girls who still wear diapers to bed would regularly do that. Second, the naughtier ones don't get out of bed for their morning poop - they stay in bed and do it in their diaper instead. Why? Because filling their diaper is a major turn on, leading to the third thing - they masturbate their little pussies because they are so excited and can't help themselves - who could resist jiggling their pussy when she's wearing a hot, pee soaked, poop filled bulging diaper?
I suffer from mood swings which are hard to control. Sometimes I can feel down or sad or angry, and other times really elated. And often my mood can swing on a dime. Today, for no apparent reason, I was feeling sad, angry and frustrated, crying into my hands and sobbing in a crouched position on the floor. I was breathing hard, slapping and grabbing my diaper between my legs to try to ease my frustrations. I was beside myself! Then I took off my top, which I managed to do successfully, but when I tried to take off my skirt, it got stuck, and my frustrations boiled over. However, as I sat there seething, I barely noticed that I'd started to wet myself - while throwing my little temper tantrum I actually had an accident! That's when things changed.
I have a red book which is a combination diary and scrapbook, containing all kinds of secret stuff. A lot of it is about the beginnings of my desire to be a dirty little girl, and my thoughts and feelings about it. Some of those thoughts express my feelings of guilt or concern, and my inability to stop myself from doing it. Looking through it now is like reading letters from my younger self - dirty letters! I can see myself moving from being worried about my desires to slowly accepting them. Now of course I've totally given in - I fully accept that I'm a dirty little girl, and that wanting to be diapered, and wanting to wet and mess myself is absolutely ok. In fact it's more than ok - it's a full blown sexual turn on that I can't do without!
Ever since I started sharing my innermost dirty sexual desires, I've come to rely more and more on your encouragement to do it in my diaper more often. I did it a lot before, but now I do it all the time, masturbating in wet and poopy diapers every day. The more messages I get telling me how much you like seeing me in a bulging full diaper turns me on so much - I like to read them while I wet and poop myself - I read them in bed at night with my hand down the front of my diaper - and I read them both before and after I cum. So keep encouraging me and telling me what you want to see me do.
I love the feeling of a poop filled diaper bulging under my jeans! I love doing it with my jeans on, as I enjoy having to push harder against the tight material. This time though I've chosen to pull my jeans down, so you can better see what I'm doing, but I definitely intend on pulling them back up again and wearing them for the rest of the day. So with my jeans down around my knees I first piss myself, and then push out a big monster poop. Then I turn to sit on the step, my jeans now around my ankles - I so love sitting down after I've pooped myself - it can often be the best part of my dirty games. I love how my weight squashes the bulge, pushing the poop into all my privates places!
I was getting ready for the party when I had a very naughty thought - so naughty in fact that I started to get aroused. So I sid my hand inside my diaper to check, and sure enough my clit had gone hard. My thought was to wet my diaper and wear it to the party, but I really wanted to do both - I wanted to poop myself too. I could easily get away with a wet diaper, but someone might smell a poopy one. I started by thoroughly wetting myself, completely soaking my diaper. As wonderful as that felt though, it still wasn't enough, so I sat up on the vanity table and pushed - I pushed out a dirty smelly poop!
I was trying to be a big girl like Daddy wanted, but I needed the potty and he wasn't around to help me. I did my best to hold on, but it was no use and I ended up having an accident in my diaper. I knew Daddy would be disappointed in me, but what choice did I have? As soon as the pee pee started pouring out of me, soaking into my diaper, I knew the poopy wouldn't be far behind. And sure enough, even before I'd finished wetting, I dirtied myself too. So despite my best efforts, I was once again a wet and dirty little girl - all messy and stinky! What would Daddy say?
Do you think I look cute - my hair in pig tails, my blue baby pants, pacifier in my mouth and holding my Hello Kitty? And I've got a diaper on underneath it all of course. I've got a little story to tell you about a game Daddy made me play, and giggling nervously, it soon becomes obvious that I'm really embarrassed telling you. But recalling the situation is also really turning me on, as is the fact that I'm doing a striptease down to my diaper at the same time. By the time I'm down to just my diaper, I'm super aroused and the only solution for that is to wet and mess my diaper!
Whoever says that diapers can't be sexy has obviously never worn one, wet one or most importanty pooped one. I can assure everone from first hand experience that diapers are the sexiest thing ever - the feeling of the fresh diaper bunched between my legs, pulled snugly against my sex - the rush of warmth around my pussy, flowing down to my bottom when I wet myself - and the hot arousing feeling of a poop pushing against the diaper and spreading out over my bottom and through my legs to my pussy. I can't think of any feeling which is more sexy, erotic and a full blown turn on than that! That's why I wear them, that's why I wet them, and that's why I poop them - because nothing else makes my clit so hard!
I love waking up in the morning needing to poop. I already have my night diaper on of course, so there's no preparation needed - I can be a dirty little girl right there and then. Often I just do it while I'm lying in bed all sleepy and warm, but today I wanted to film myself so you guys could see. First I sat on the floor, still in my jammies, pressing down on on my tummy, and then with my jammies pulled down a bit I poked my butt hole with my hand through the diaper - I wanted to make it more urgent and feel like I had no control. It worked! Still with my jammies around my knees, the poop burst into my diaper causing a big bulge - I couldn't have stopped it even if I'd wanted to.
My trip to visit Grandma for her birthday got off to an ominous start when I was half way there in the car and realized I had forgotten to put any panties on! It certainly wasn't the first time I had forgotten to wear panties. Oh well, I figured I'd just keep my knees together and she'd be too old to notice anyway. But when she went to the kitchen to start cooking, I wandered off, poking my nose in places I probably shouldn't have. I looked in the closet in her guest room where I used to sleep when I stayed the night as a little girl - and what did I see? My old diapers! She hadn't bothered to throw them away. As soon as I saw them I just knew what I had to do.
I do what makes me happy, and I don't care if it makes sense to other people or what they might think. I do it because it feels so nice and so sexy. I've been doing it for so long I couldn't stop if I wanted to! Wetting and pooping myself means everything to me, and it's what makes me happier than anything else. Today I was sitting on my play mat the floor with a bare bottom, gently caressing my pussy with my hand. I was getting turned on, and I couldn't stop looking at the pile of diapers on the stand. I needed to pee and poop, but this time I wanted to try something different.